A vacation as a family is a great way to make lasting memories and enjoy each other in a way that just can’t happen when there’s homework and house chores to contend with. Done right, a family trip can strengthen bonds between you and your loved ones – you’ll have pictures and stories to prove it. A few missteps, though, and you’re looking at a trip spent navigating bad moods, stress, and confusion. Traveling with kids can be fun, as long as you keep these tips in mind.

1. Planning makes perfect
Who says you have to do the hard part all by yourself? If everyone in the family has a hand in planning the trip, they’ll be more excited. Let each person pick one attraction or activity that’s a must-do on vacation. This way, everyone has something to look forward to.

2. Give them an early taste
If you’re going somewhere new, try out some cuisine from the area before you go. Whether you cook it yourself or have it delivered, tasting the local flavor ahead of time gives picky eaters a chance to find something they like, lets younger ones know what to expect so they feel more comfortable, and gets the whole family in the vacation mindset.

3. Flexibility is key
We know that you have a schedule, but focus on what’s happening rather than what’s supposed to happen. If you were supposed to head to a nighttime pool party at the hotel tonight, but everyone’s exhausted from the day’s excursions, skip it and go to sleep instead. Sticking to a rigid schedule is not a good way to relax.

4. Factor in some chill time
Similar to the last tip, don’t feel pressure to experience every single tourist attraction. You’ll end up running around and rushing through things to try to pack it all in. Then, you’ll come home from your getaway more exhausted than when you left rather than rejuvenated. Pick just a few things to see and do that you’ll truly enjoy – don’t just check them out because it’s expected – and then take some time to relax. For some, that means a nap; for others, some time with a good book or a slow stroll through the neighborhood with no direction in mind.

5. Suspend some rules
Vacation is a break from everyday life, so break a few non-essential rules. For example, have one meal on your trip where the kids can eat whatever they want, with no judgment from adults. If they want pizza for breakfast or a lunch of marshmallows and gummy worms, give in. They’ll see it as something really special, you’ll save yourself from yet another argument about how they HAVE to eat their veggies.

6.Divide to conquer
A family vacation doesn’t mean the family has to be together every minute of every day. If your kids are old enough, give them the afternoon to explore or play on their own – just be very clear about where and when they are expected back, and make sure they know how to get in touch. If the kids are too young for solo adventures, enlist the services of the on-site daycare. No, it’s not abandonment; it’s taking time for yourself. A rested parent is an effective parent.

7. Try a pop of culture
If you want to experience some world-reknown highbrow culture, like the Louvre, great. If you want the kids to go with you, then phrase it in a way that makes it fun for them. Rather than dragging them along to the incredibly famous museum in Paris, get them excited to go to the place where Robert Langdon first started cracking the case in The DaVinci Code.

8. A little splurge has a big pay-off
Understandably, you want to get away without breaking the bank. If you plan one splurge activity, though, and save it for the end, you finish the trip on a high note. You can also use the big activity as a dangling carrot to keep kids in line throughout the week. These added benefits are well worth the expense of renting jet-skis or a ziplining package.

9. Listen to friends before experts
When picking a place to stay or a restaurant to try, get advice from friends with similar family dynamics who’ve gone to the area. They’ll give far better recommendations than the 20-something travel agent who doesn’t know the difference between Dora the Explorer and Abby Cadabby.

10. Attitude is everything
If you’re excited, they’ll be excited. If you’re stressed, they’ll be stressed. Try to let the minor mishaps roll off your shoulders with a glass-half-full vibe, and it’ll make a big difference. Get lost on the way to the hotel? You’re just exploring the area. Your daughter spilled fruit punch on her dress? It’s just an excuse to go shopping together. You get the idea. Vacation is a state of mind just as much as a destination.